music,world,shit

the farmers and the seeds they plant

2007-09-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

"i was wearing my best Sunday dress, the day was warm, but windy...it blew my hair across my face and whispered silent thoughts in my mind. was it my conscience?"

you pulled my hand and we weaved ourselves through the field.. you were excited and i was baffled.but nevertheless happy to come along.. *play the piano's tunes while we hum too*

with us stopping under a big old tree that kept us hidden from the sun's invasive rays, we noticed how comforting it was to be hidden.
"here we are" you said.
with a smile on your face. sincere as always.
and I, stand before you. Stiff..(as if i was a kid, innocent to everything, i was eager to see what it was you wanted me to see..) i smile back ....
you knelt down to touch the soft patch in the ground. dug it with your bare hands..
observant, i noticed your will to dig. distraction of any sort wont pursue.

you stood up again, with your hands covered in soil.
you reached for mine and pulled me down.
and when i was kneeling as well.
you dug into your pocket and pulled out a velvet bag.
which to my surprise, held something that was illuminated

you told me it was the seed of truth. and that i should help you plant it.
it was a secret.
"but i have a secret too"i said. and i, put my hand inside my pocket and held out a velvet bag as well.
it contained the seed of love and innocence.
"perfect" he exclaimed. " place it gently in the hole i dug.. "
we also had seeds of past and seeds of errs.
"what should we do with this?"i said.
"oh, yes. i forgot about those. unfortunately, those have to go in as well"
and regretfully, i tucked them in .

we covered the hole and with perfect luck it started to rain..
we waited, and continued to take care of our plant . same time in the afternoon we would go and visit.

it was growing and we were excited to see what fruit it would bear.
we just waited, and waited, and waited,
we were so caught up in taking care of this plant that most of our other plants have slowly begun to decrese, until.. all of them were gone.
so we still waited for its fruit..

until one day. we visited.
it still looked the same.. we decided to just sleep on the ground and wait for it to blossom.....
and in a while we noticed it was moving.
it slowly unsheathe itself and a piercing shriek escaped it's enveloping petals
darkness surrounded us in an instant. we cried as we discovered our fruit to be vile,
it was chaotic, it killed the soil and even the big tree that protected it from the harsh wind and rain. it was the fruit that was supposed to be sweet, but turned bitter in the end.
it was a product of bad past and errs, it was a mix of pure innocence and irresponsibility
even though it was founded by love as its base.. we have concocted something that is destroying us slowly.

i should be the reaper
the one to end everything
"ill cut it."
we cry.
"ill cut it."

oh what to do.

2007-08-20T03:47:00.000-07:00

luckily no one reads this so ill post stuff here.
tangina talaga. SHIT what is fucking wrong with me.........................
there's this EMPTY space in my head right now.
you know what? i just want to dissappear talaga from everyone

good thing im leaving for the states soon.

this new guy

2007-06-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

i think i like him a lot.. :) jeeze. hahahhaha

music is like religion. oh complicated shit.

2007-02-08T00:16:00.000-08:00

I have been talking to a lot of people about music lately, it seems as if i've lost my passion for it, or maybe the sence of connection to it.(oh lord god i hope not,) but in this time that i have been trying to find my "MOJO" [lol] i have learned a lot from different people. about mainstream issues, being indie issues, what's right and whats not, what to ask for, what to let go. shit like that. it is amazing. how people have so many beliefs about music, its like Buddhism how ever the fuck you spell that, catholicism born again ism, hahahha. One says go for the music that can let other people relate to it, one says oh fuck them, go for abstract, for art, for the love of it, for real passion, its just a plus if people like it .. its like in religion, some believe that they can be saved by donations to the church (WHATEVER RIGHT?) some believe in being saved by doing good works, some in other ways (weird weird .. oh um weird ways) but it made me think. how the heck am i supposed to work now?? with so many angles? so many things to experiment with! where should i start?, its like OVERLOAD!!!!! what is true, what isnt? like religion it is hard to know what is true, I REALLY CANT MAKE A SONG ANYMORE.

id rather think about what it really means to me, understand and grasp it rather than to push myself into making nothing.

recently, i have been listening to a lot of music, wondering why it doesn't hit me like THAT. (if your a music lover, then you know what "hit me like THAT" means.) anyway, some people told me that its just a phase (me being shake -y) still not sure. i have so much to think about. I've freed myself from that just now by writing this blog. (well technically I'm still thinking about it. but..) there. its driving me nuts. its all i could think about. making me real cranky and serious. (well i am a serious kind of person so i get worse.) extremely worse.
BORING SNAPPY BITING RAWRING WORSE> so beware.

i woke up at 5 am today, came from capitol medical hospital chorva, my lolo is in the i.c.u, haaaa. it crushed me so bad. SO BAD. normally im not the type who gets affected much, i brush things off so quickly. disregarding feelings or whatever. hahah NATUTO NAKO BITCHES. di nyo nako masasaktan. LOL ^-^ i dont really give a fuck anymore. so anyway.. there. this time i did give a fuck. we wernt that close cause we dint get to see each other much but i could feel he loved us. :) and i love him too :D you know when a person is sincere, sincerity is what i believe in. truth and justice :D lol.. i hate liars.

hahah so anyway.. this becomes really intersting cause,ok we left na right, at 530 am, i was half asleep while walking to edsa, i decided to listen to my mp3. ok so i was listening to the usual semi silent semi noisy stuff. it was still dark, we went to mcdonalds to have breakfast. me and my dad werent talking... di pa buhay kaluluwa namin non. so i stopped the mp3 muna cause i ate. tas ok when we left mcdonalds, the sun was up already, and i listend to my mp3 again. this was really funny cause. slayer came on and it started with panning guitars hahahaha naka sustain lang sa isang note. i was walking up the stairs nung lrt and i immagined myself getting into trouble with slayer background music, something was up, it was like being in a movie where you get to the part where theres gonna be a bomb on the train. and i was laughing at myself . and there was this time when we were infront of the arrow (the markings where the train door lands) and slayer was on again and it said "the line starts here" hahaha it was so funny cause it was so connected to what i was doing and then the train door opens and its like doom is near, hahahha the part where its best to headbang starts and everybody is staring at you and its soo scary and freeky.. then vwoooooom, the crazy lead goes in, thats the part where the actress goes nuts cause shes sure there IS something wrong. hahahahah.. then the music changes. and shes relaxed again. after the slayer tracks are the bjork ones so. shes all calm and shit. hahahahah

then and there i realized that music isn't there to relate to you, its you who has to relate to it for it to hit you like THAT, like religion so many stories so many rules so much mystery, but in order for it to apply, you have to connect it to you. (which sucks cause thats the truth about religion, you agree so much to stuff and make your own connections to it that you think it isn't coincidence, youd think its really a miracle when infact its just an idea youve connected yourself to)

if you dint get that, heres and example, example theres this religious statement that goes "if you believe enough then you could move mountains" so heres how that statement works for people

a.) you can take it leterally, believe so much and think you could move mountains if you belived. but YOU COUNTLESSLY FAIL because (the priest would say, YOU Did not believe enough) thats why it dint work well in fact it really wouldnt work. are you nuts?!?! how can you move a mountain. your not god. lol

or

b.) you could take it NOT literally and follow what it really means, believe in yourself or others and give them enough support for them to do it, then they could.

where in music:
its like this. lets say the lyrics to the song is like " my name's isobel married to myself, my love isobel living by herself, when she does it she means to. ooohhh moth delivers her message ooh, unexplained on your colar crawling in silence, a simple excuse, nananana"

people would say
a.) oh wow, shes so independent she's living by herself shes strong and blah blah. thats like ME> im strong i can live by myself, wow. that song is good.

BUT, this is what the song actually means (i watched her interview about the song so this is what it really means)

b.) "isobel is like this person who lives in the forest like a fairy, seeing people's ways, being so uptight, busy, forgetting the natural ways, the old ways, simplicity. she says that the moths are sent out to remind them of nature as its ancient to them, moths go on top of theyre noses to say na na na nana thats not right. come back to whats natural.,

thats pretty much what it means and even though the song isnt what they percieved it to be, it still hits you like THAT because youve related to it or so youve thought, but it doesnt matter really. as long as you feel something when you listen to it , its ok if you dont really understand what it means as long as you can relate. and thats the whole point, make whatever it is you like its a plus if they like it and theyve related to it,.

so NOW ive realised that the 2 clashing people ive talked to were BOTH right. Music Does have to relate to theire listeners in order for it to work BUT its still ok if you make it as your own art form, even if you dont think about the relevance, you should just play your heart out and if they like it then lucky you..

PEOPLE are confusing. and i like that.

WHO HATES GLOBE TELECOM?!?!!?!??!!?!?!?

2007-02-01T07:30:00.000-08:00

ok. who is pissed off at globes quick change of rates (hmmm you know tha changing of p15 per day unlimitxt to 20, 25 to 40 for 2 days and 50 to 80 pessos for 4 days. FUCK RIGHT?!?!? ok so this is what i did. i emailed a complaint to custhelp@globetel.com.ph and THIS IS WHAT THEY SENT BACK. its time to retaliate. :D

cummon guys!!!! LETS GOOOOO!!!!!

Dear Valued Subscriber:

Thank you for bringing your concern to our attention. A Customer Service Representative is now working on your request and shall be in touch with you within 48 hours.

Please understand that response to your queries and comments received after regular business hours ( 8am to 5pm), during weekends and on Philippine holidays may take a bit longer as these will be processed on the following business day. However, should you need online assistance, you may visit the Customer Service Portal at http://customerservice.globe.com.ph to get a copy of your billing statement online, download the forms you need, check the latest phones, or just get helpful tips.

You may also talk to our Customer Service Representatives by calling our 24-hour Call-In Service at (02) 730-1000 from any landline phone or 211 toll-free from your Globe Handyphone. If you are a Touch Mobile subscriber, you may call 215 toll-free from your handyphone or (02) 730-1500 from any landline phone.

For concerns regarding your Globelines subscription, you may dial 171 toll-free from a Globelines landline phone or (02) 919-8888 from any landline phone within Metro Manila.

Should you need assistance while using the roaming service, you may call our 24-hour Globe Roaming Support at +6327301212 for postpaid subscribers or *131*6327301212# for prepaid subscribers toll-free using your handyphone. Please note that if you dial the number using a landline, using another network, or while in the Philippines, appropriate charges will apply and it will be considered as a valid call.

Once again, thank you for your continued patronage of Globe Telecom.

* This is an auto-generated email. Please do not reply.

this is what they sent back. an autoreply letter.
hay.. ill just have to wait for the real reply... well, it isnt office ours. yeah ill give em that. ill wait. ill keep you posted.

guys! feel free to email globe's customer service to. dont just sit there DO IT DO IT DO IT. nobody ever got forward by sitting on their behinds :D

Chapter 2. the suman eaters.

2007-01-29T05:21:00.000-08:00

suman suman!!

ok, the day started out just fine, i woke up at 11:30 . checked my myspace and checked my blog. gah. i still cant figure this thing out. but anywhooo, you maybe wondering why this blog is called the suman eaters. :D well. read on... you'll find out :D

ok. so i waited until 3:30 for the boyssss to arive. :D woo im hot i have lots of boys. hahah NEH... my i was talking about my bandmates. blah blah. so yeah... they arrived and we had a short meeting , see, we have this semi acoustic gig in olongapo on the 3rd of feb. and its our first time to do an acoustic set so we gathered all the songs we could do a cover on and tried to play them. so far we have 7 playable songs. we need 10. were gonna have band practice tomorow. so yeah. we were hungry. it was cold, we were in the patio. it was sooooo breeeezzzyy... :D so i decided to look for something that we could munch on while they were figuring out what songs we could add to our list that we could play on the 3rd.

i looked in the fridge and saw some 2 week old suman :D hahahah!!!! i got one and asked the guys if they wanted rock hard suman. :D then aljo said. "well how long has it been there" and i was all like. "um.. 2 weeks." then everybody started laughing "fuck. 2weeks." and aljo goes "ok let me try. who wants to try?. cummon. i chalenge you!." lol. so i was like. "umm . no thanks hahahah!" and marvin was like. "ok, you go first" hahahah!! and he was like. ok ok... then he was sniffing the suman "it doesnt smell funky", hmmm "takes a small bite.*"it doesnt taste funky either, its just hard." and we were all laughing the whooollleee friggin timeee.. :D hahahah!! YA YA YA HA HA HA HA!!! :D so i thought. we should steam it or somthing. so what i did was, i got a bowl, filled it with water placed it in the microwave with the suman and covered both and it got steamed. and voila. instant soft suman. and a melted truffles so we could dip the suman in it. :D its like pihilippine fondue :D hahah YUM RIGHT? :D

chapter 1. the sunday

2007-01-28T05:54:00.001-08:00

Goodevuuning :D welcome to another episode of "alex and the boring days that she puts on her blog and make it seem interesting tales"

chapter 1:the sunday
"woah, eh,. what a headache!" alex said as she tried hard to open her eyes, it was 3:30 in the afternoon. Checking her messages on her cellphone, she recieved 20 + messages, mostly group messages from her lovely [Mg] bebi's. But she was rattled when she opened the one from her boyfirend, cause he was worried that she wasnt replying so she hurriedly texted him ,explaining she was just asleep the whole day.. mad her wonder what day it was.... "what day is it today what day is it today?? today is... sunday.. sunday.. OMFG!!!!! WOOORRRKKKKSSHOOPP!!!!!! workshop starts at 5!!!!! AND ITS 3:30 already!! omg i have to get dressed!!!! im gonna be late! its gonna be traffic and i wouldnt have enough time to get there on time!! " so, she hurried to the bathroom and took a bath. blah blah *shower shower shower* ... shower.. mmm shower shower*...

ok. so shes done taking a bath. :D now she wonders what clothes to wear she's like "omfg, what am i gonna wear. its a workshop fcol!! i need somethign decent." "FUCK THIS ill get jeans and a sando and some baggy sweatshirt" she said , since it was cold... "weeee immona wear my boyfriend's sneakers"and so, she was all set, she called her dad and grabbed the 2oo bucks she earned from lastnight's gig and stormed off.

as they were waiting for the f.x. to fill up, alex's dad decided to grab a newspaper to look for a job, and she decided to load her phone up. when she walked out the door of the shop, she was surprised to see a friend of hers, "ace!!! ace!!" she called him hoping he'd hear, but ace was listening to music so he dint hear her . "aww darn it. too bad, my first attempt to be friendly and i was ignored. great."

on their way to the workshop, she and her dad were really quiet. goes to show how close they are. lols.. *quiet quiet lalala* she was actually thinking about being in the states, commuting by herself, wondering how life would be like if she transfered already. it would be fun. she said to herself. totally fun :D

as they got there. they waited for a while, and ate biscuits and silently waited for the workshop to start . "alex, are you still eating?" cause we can start already." "oh its ok, i can eat this later, lets do this." lol. ... she did ok. :D

after that they went home. and she began writing on her blog to tell people about her day, but then her mom asked her if she could come with her while she waited for a tricycle to pass by. it was really cold, she wore her favorite sweatshirt, made her feel like she was in the states again, maybe it was her brain preparing her to leave, she could feel it. it was comming soon, it was real and painfully true. so as they were waiting, they were talking about getting a job. :D lol she was excited to get a job so she could spend and shop. she hated the feeling that she was being held prisoner buy financial constraints, she's the adventurous type, the traveling type, she loved to be in different new places, made her feel invisible,she loved to observe and wonder how other peoples lives are like, THAT amazed her so much. "more stuff to write about" she would say. they heard a speeding tricycle going there way so they said their goodbyes, and her mother waved her arms to get the driver's attention. and in a second she rode off.

so she and her dad and her cute little dog started to walk, her, enjoying the cold air as always,they heard a car with emo sounds pass by. windows down, she could definately hear them talk. they came from her street, ithe voice from the car sounded like her cx. but she wasnt quite sure, but something gave her the feeling that it was definately him, cause when the car passed by her and her dad,the guy that definately sounded like her ex said "ayun ata sila, sila ba yun?" and then she couldnt make out the other stuff they said cause they were moving away from them. and she began thingking, "was it really my ex? well maybe it was, cause recentlyhe left a message on the answering machine saying he was back from *****".............

"i wonder why he still tries to contact me."

ive been daria-rized.

2007-01-28T04:12:00.000-08:00

some may wonder who daria morgandorfer is , *who is she??!?! omfg* hahahah. ye, um shes one of my long lost favorite sarcastic smart and introvert cartoon characters. alongside with jane they mock the people who live in lawndale (pretty stupid people actually) haha. so yeah. i got inspired by her page. on mtv.com. (sadly we dont have daria here but.) she has this blog thing there called "world acording to daria" so i figured i'd make one myself since i spend most of my time actually staring at the computer and reading shit. so. there. plus i have a lot of ideas i wanna blurt out so, i decided to make a blog :D by the way, the picture on the right is the whole fashion club,(the alter ago) quinn is the red haired girl (sister of daria, now who wouldve guessed that??) totally oposite from the introvert quiet SMART daria. Quinn is popular,pretty, and kind of stupid. :D (well atleast acts like she's stupid cause she doesnt want to be called a "brain". that wouldnt be too cool now, would it? :D lols..

HOPE IM NOT BORING YOU YET . blah blah blah....

<-daria's tempramental teacher :D mr de martino ok, so today i have nothing much to put. cause my day has just started. i woke up at around 1:30 pm. i came from a gig yesterday (suppperrr tireddd) and i got home at around 4:30. hahaha. its like being in the daria thing. watching mystic spiral play. hahaahahha. frustrated musicians. YES they are. hahaha, mystic spiral is trent's band, trent is jane's brother, jane is daria's best friend. but instead of being with a "tom" (daria's boyfriend) i was with a vince,. lol. so yeah. we spent the whole day together :D yiheee. :D and later we'll see each other again. (another gig, its called conspiracy against the balerina) :D if you get to read this now. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. :D hehehe.

ok back to the topic,so why be so dariarized you may ask. WELL its because its the only cartoon so far ive related to and its pretty funny cause i felt the same way as daria did when she was in highschool . HAHAHA! so yeah. its really funny. try watching it on you tube. search daria. try to watch the whole episode there are normally 3 cuts of the episode cause youtube cant upload realy large files so they cut it in 3 :D

ok this is (from left to right)

trent,jane,daria,quinn :D

yeah. i founf the picture just now so, i decided to put it there :D so
youd know who i was talking about.

ok enough now.
my eyes hurt. im gonna try to figure out this blog thing. im new to this :D

currently listening to:
mum: once a shiny morning